Text from my husband: I had a sex dream last night about you. It was awesome.
Text back to him from me: I had a dream last night that I was feeding our cat a plate of canned baked beans and a salad. While she was eating the salad, a talking Lhasa Apso dog with a posh British accent was sitting at my feet, politely explaining that I should feed him half of the beans on the plate because the cat would never be able to eat them all.
Text from my husband: You win.
This is what it’s like being married to me, in case you were wondering.